how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
