I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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