he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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