So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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