Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
