kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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