Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
