In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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