spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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