Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
