didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
