C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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