Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
