just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
