I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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