Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she smelled like a LAN party
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
