moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
