even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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