you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
