Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
