i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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