I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
