i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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