If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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