I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
