She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
