Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
