It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
