so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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