Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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