I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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