Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
