Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
