This girl is more easily done than said...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
