Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
