I faked an abortion last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
