this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
