I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
