Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
