So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Vodka?
Forever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
