I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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