I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
