why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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