he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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