the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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