You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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