I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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