So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
