she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
