Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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