Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
