Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
