I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
