i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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