Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
