Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
