Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
