i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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