so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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