I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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