i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
